There is something that has been bothering me for some time now and it’s due to get off my chest.  I really don’t like Apple, and everything they stand for. There was a time in my life when I didn’t really care one way or the other.  I acknowledged them as just another company who was competing for my attention.  Then came the fateful day that they started advertising stupid “Get am Mac” commercials that essentially stroked the penis of every existing Mac owner in the world (all 10% of them) while calling the other 90% of users stupid for not having one.  I instantly turned from impartial to unbridled hatred for them, and have refused to purchase their inferior products since.  I just don’t know what it is about that “better than thou” image that enrages me.  It just seems to feed that childish high school mentality that you are less cool for not fading your jeans, or piling on the styling products to give your hair that “i just don’t care” look.

Since then, I’ve paid more attention to Apple, but not in the blinding way that every iPod owner does when they upgrade to the next version because Steve Jobs said so.  I’ve been watching their tactics that are more reminiscent of a religious cult than a software/hardware company.  They hold press conferences like some kind of religious revival, in which they sit in large rooms, confirming with each other that it’s okay to be excited over the information on the screen.  They clap and cheer with a Pavlovian response to every word that drops from Mr. Job’s mouth.  They gather in groups to flaunt the latest application on their iPhone (… did you know that thing had a phone in it?!? yeah… me either…).

It’s sad when the rise and fall of a companies stock is tied to the heart monitor of one person.  I pity them and wouldn’t want to be working there when he kicks it.

Apple pushes overpriced hardware, and closes all of it’s software channels, and forces developers to use non-standard programming languages, and yet people see them in such a positive light.  They pimp shovel(hard)ware like the iPad, and people will spend the money because Jobs said so.  Their iTunes software is more like iVirus, spawning a series of inconspicuously named processes, and disabling your machine from simply browsing your media without popping up constant advertisements to purchase their Pro movie players.  The best response I’ve gotten from iPod users (using iTunes of course) is that “you deal with it”.  Not exactly an overwhelming review, and yet they buy the next version when it comes out.

Sometimes I think that they sent out stupid pills and I forgot to fill out my change of address.  Maybe my pill was lost in the mail, and I just don’t understand how I get by on better hardware for a cheaper price.  You would think that “better hardware for a cheaper price” sounds like a good thing, but clearly to anyone who buys Apple products it does not register.

There was a time when I would have given Apple a chance, even going as far as using their hardware for some video editing work a few years ago.  Now that I’ve peeked into the truth behind the cool-aid that they are serving, I’d rather eat my own foot.

Thanks iVirus!