I am still trying to decide where I am in life right now.  I’ve spent two-thirds of my life showering myself in the video game culture.  I’ve spent countless sleepless nights playing games as a child and making games as an adult.  I have blogged about my grievances with the industry in the past and not much has changed.

My largest concern of all is time.  Many other industry professionals have been quoted as saying their time on this earth is limited, and the number of games that one can reasonably make in today’s market is very small.  The old days of one guy punching out a blockbuster in a weekend are over; they have been over for a long time.  The industry has grown into an ecosystem that is good for the industry as a whole but bad for the individual who is looking to be noticed.  Budgets and expectations have risen to unreasonable levels, one that I frankly can’t compete with.  As a result of all these shifts in the industry, game development has become a hobby for me not a viable source of income.

I honestly don’t know if my time is best spent sacrificing years and not even making a ripple in the pond upon its release.  Lately I’ve been doing things with my time that I have gotten more satisfaction from.  I’ve slowed my game development to a crawl and picked up new hobbies; photography, and woodworking.  With woodworking, I am free to use my creative talents and math background to construct something functional, something that my beautiful daughter can appreciate.  I don’t expect to make money for my efforts but I wasn’t making money in game development either.  At least this hobby pays in affection.

I’d like to think that I still have a future in video games, but I’m trying to make sense of it.  In the short couple of weeks that I’ve put game development on hold I have built two pieces of furniture for my pride and joy and I have drawn up plans for a complete renovation of the backyard.  Since my efforts over these last 20 years has not succeeded in enriching the lives of others, I have transitioned to enriching my own life.  This change has rattled me to the core and shaken every belief I’ve ever had about my long time love.  But as different as it feels, I am somewhat happier seeing my efforts make a direct change in someone’s life.  That impact is something I never saw with any game I’ve ever made, and it certainly didn’t take a year of my life to make that happen…

I’ll always have a place in my heart for games and I will continue to hold a candle and pray that the flame will light up inside me again.  Until then, a weight has been lifted and I’m okay with that…